Well it is a new year and I am hoping that this will bring me much happiness. I am working full time, raising my daughter, my boyfriend is with living with us. We are going to church, hanging around with very good people and living each and every day like it was the last day of my life.

February 14, 1999 Valentines Day what a surprise that my sister Tara, her boyfriend & son has come to visit us. This is the first time I have seen my sister since I was 14 I think. Kelly is planning to take me out to dinner. We went to Outback Steak House and yes this is my first time ever going there. Kelly and I are sitting next to each other and all of a sudden I feel a nudge between us. I look down and I see it is a box between us. I pick it up and I open it thinking it is a necklace or something. It is an engagement ring. As I am looking at the box Kelly says “Well you wanna” I should of known right there we would have problems. I was very surprised to see that he got me this beautiful ring. Everyone knew but me, and I wanted us to be married. We had a child together all ready and we have been together off and on since 1994. Of course I came back to my parents house and showed everyone my lovely ring and told my friends & family.

In March I started an awesome job working for a wholesale flooring distributor. I had my own office, I felt so control over my life, making very good money and very happy. For once I felt my life was on the right track.

As time went by I was trying to plan our wedding and do this right. Well it didn’t go the way I wanted to. I don’t remember why we did it but we got married on May 27, 1999 at a courthouse. We just went down and did it then afterwards I walked out to the car and said “Okay now that we are married I want a divorce” we both laughed and went away to St. Petersburg, Fl for the weekend for our honeymoon.

I was happy with work, friends, family, but I wasn’t feeling so happy about my marriage. I told Kelly “that I wasn’t happy in our relationship. I love him as a person, but I wasn’t in love with him”. He said “it was a phase I am going through”. I will try to do my best to work on my marriage, but I don’t think it will do any good.  

 It is Halloween time I stopped by my parents house to pick up Kariann and my father gave me a message that my best friend's mother called me and to give her a call. I thought that was odd so I went home and call my best friend Mike. I dialed the phone number and I hear a woman's voice say “hello” I said “is Mike there this is Kim calling him back” she said “I am so sorry to tell you but Michael has passed away he was killed in a car accident” I will never forget that day. My heart sank and I was so upset and mad. All month long I kept telling myself and had a gut feeling that I needed to call Mike. Something was telling me to call him, but I never did call him. His mother told me “that he talked about me all the time. How much he loved and care for me”. Not only were we best friends, but yes we did date but it was to weird so we stayed friends instead. He moved away earlier that year to Illinois to be with his mother. We talked throughout the year, but something inside me told me I needed to contact him as soon as possible. I tried to find his email address online and knowing I had his number I still did not call. On October 31, 1999 I was told to call his mother and when I asked to speak to Mike. She informed me of the terrible news. Michael was killed in a car accident on October 27, 1999. After hanging up the phone I was alone in my kitchen and never have I felt so alone. I kick myself in the butt for not picking up the phone and seeing how he was doing. His mother and I keep in touch with one another. With this I believe we keep his spirit alive and that is why he visits us in our dreams once in a while!!

Mike and I did everything together. We went to the beach every single day almost. We would sit in the same chair, watch movies and hang out until 2 to 3 in he morning. Go swimming, party, drink, have fun and most of all I could be myself around him.

Being that is it Halloween I had to take my daughter and meet my friends for us to go trick or treat. Not only I was upset what hurt me the most is that I just lost my best friend. Kelly comes home and I tell him as I am standing there in tears. He doesn’t comfort me or say anything to make me feel better. That hurt so much more. We met up with our friends and trick or treating was so much fun. Of course I was in overall’s with my hair in braids. My little girl was a cow. Hehehe and you press her belly and it mooed.

During this year my mother has been living in the Tampa area and coming home on the weekends. It was getting to be too much for them. So instead of my parents selling their house they just built they asked me to rent it from them. And this was good for I needed to get out of my place for too many bad memories there. So Happy Birthday to me November 7th we moved into the house. It was so cool to have this place, but the deal is when mom and dad are reading to come back home I have to move out. Sighs…. Okay fine deal.

Christmas of 1999 was very very interesting. We went to my boss’s house for Christmas party and boy did I drink. I had a new drink called hot apple pie. Which is apple pucker & goldschlager mixed together. Yummy but it messed me up and not to mention that I had my first shot of moonshine. Let’s just say that night will be remembered later down the road.